Darkness on the Edge of Town (transcript)
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This is a transcript for Darkness on the Edge of Town, the sixth episode of season one of TMNT (2003 series).
| VOICE-OVER INTRO | |
| Donatello | [Fade up to show him swimming underwater] My name is Donatello, and right now I'm learning just how long I can hold my breath. [Surfaces onto a boardwalk and sees a vibro-cannon firing at the water] That vibro-cannon is seriously messing up the East River. [Sees part of the pier start to crumble] If this keeps up, the whole South Street Seaport could go crumbling into the water. I'd be fascinated by the technology, [Sees two shadows on the ground in front of him] if I wasn't otherwise occupied. [Looks up behind him and sees two ninjas] |
| The episode opens with Michelangelo riding a skateboard through the sewers. | |
| Michelangelo | He is the Alpha Dog, the Thrash-Meister, the Undisputed God of the Half-Pipe. [Does a flip] Wahoo! |
| Raphael | [Riding roller skates behind Mikey] Who needs half-pipe, bro? We got FULL-pipe! Hahahaha. [Does a loop around the pipe] Woohoo, yeah! Haha! |
| Michelangelo | Wahoo! |
| Raphael | Alright! |
| The duo ride into the Lair. Leonardo and Donatello ride in behind them, the former on a scooter and the latter on a bike. Don goes off a ramp. | |
| Donatello | Going for airplitude! |
| Leonardo | [Goes off the same ramp and grinds a table] Going for grinditude! Woo! |
| The turtles all cheer while riding around. Splinter walks in holding a tray that has a teapot, teacup, and two muffins. Leo rides past him. | |
| Leonardo | Excuse me, Sensei. |
| Splinter sets the tray down on the table by the TV. | |
| Donatello | Heads up, Sensei! I mean, down! [Rides right over Splinter who ducks it] |
| Splinter pours himself some tea and looks to his right annoyed. He then jumps over the table as Raph rides by and lands on the other side. | |
| Raphael | Nice recovery, Sensei! |
| Splinter sighs and reaches for a muffin, but Mikey rides by and grabs it. | |
| Michelangelo | Hey, thanks, Sensei! |
| Turtles | [All while riding around] Extreme breed! |
| Splinter sits down and tries turning on the TV, but all of a sudden, the electricity goes completely out. The turtles crash into each other. | |
| Michelangelo | [Sarcastically] Nice wiring job, Don! |
| Donatello | I guarantee it's not my wiring. Maybe it's a blackout. |
| Michelangelo | Maybe. Now you wanna get your foot off my shell? |
| Splinter lights a match and ignites a candle. | |
| Leonardo | Keep that flame away from Mikey. He scarfed down a whole chili pizza for dinner. |
| Splinter | Clearly there is a power failure. I suggest you investigate and see if it can be fixed. |
| Michelangelo | We're all over it. |
| Mikey grabs his skateboard. Raph sheathes the wheels on his skates. Leo folds up his scooter. Donnie folds his bike. They all run off with their respective rides. | |
| Splinter | And hurry up! I do not wish to miss my favorite program. |
| The camera cuts to a nightfall rooftop with a water tower. The turtles appear on top of it. | |
| Leonardo | You know, I don't think Splinter meant we should investigate this far. |
| Raphael | You can never be too thorough. Especially when it comes to topside time. |
| Donatello | This whole side of town is dark. The substation must have gone out. |
| Leonardo | This isn't right. Shouldn't there be some emergency lights or something? |
| Raphael | Yeah. It's totally dark down there. |
| Michelangelo | Which means there's only one thing for us to do. |
| We move to a staircase in front of a building. Raph and Mikey grind down the railing. | |
| Turtles | Banzai! |
| Leonardo | [Stops his scooter] Guys, you really think we should be doing this? What if somebody sees us. [Raph and Mikey join him] |
| Raphael | That's the beauty of it, Leo. No one can see us. It's pitch black. |
| Michelangelo | Get with the program, bro. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity to session some surface terrain. |
| Donatello | [Rides up to them] Hey, check this out. [Points a distance away] |
| They see two ninjas climbing up a building. | |
| Michelangelo | Didn't we fight these clowns once before? |
| Donatello | Yeah, and we nearly got waxed. |
| Raphael | [Twirls his twin sai in his hands] Who's up for some payback? |
| Inside a museum, the two ninjas go to a display case with a sword in it. One ninja uses a device to cut a circle on the glass and take a piece out without raising an alarm. The second ninja, wearing a glove device, tries to grab it, but is stopped when a shuriken is thrown at the case. They look and see the turtles. | |
| Leonardo | Gift shop's on the first floor, boys, but they don't take kindly to shoplifters, and neither do we. |
| The first ninja pulls out his own sword while the second one goes for the display case, but it gets another shuriken thrown at it. | |
| Raphael | Now before you try to make off with the goods, you might wanna consider a few things: One, you're outnumbered. Two, don't let the pretty faces fool you. We're tougher than we look. |
| Michelangelo | [More ninjas arrive] And three, we're about to get our butts seriously hammered! |
| A ninja charges at Leo with a staff. Leo cuts the staff in half, but the ninja makes a blade pop out each half. He charges at Leo who blocks with his shell and breaks the blades. He then knocks the ninja into another ninja. | |
| Leonardo | Whew! Saved by the shell. |
| Raphael | [Spins around on his skates] Check it out! Blades and blades! [He and a ninja with a sword charge at each other] Hahahaha! [The ninja slashes, but Raph flips over him and he winds up cutting a vase in half] You break it, pal, you bought it. [Rides away with the ninja running after him] And speaking of buying it... [Kicks the ninja and he goes head-first into a small gong] |
| Don and a ninja with a pole blade square off. Don gets on his bike and rides towards the ninja. | |
| Donatello | [Uppercuts the ninja with the bike, sending him into an armor display] Alley-oop! [Another ninja runs towards him from behind, Don pulls out his staff] Charge! [Knocks the ninja into a vase] |
| Michelangelo | [Riding his skateboard] Wahoo! Bowling for ninjas! [Knocks one ninja into two more, Starts twirling his nunchucks] Na-na-na-na-na! [A ninja wraps a kusarigama chain around his arm] Uh oh. Heads up. [Jumps up and hits the ninja in the chest with his skateboard] Way to pick up that spare. [Tears off the ninja's insignia] And a trophy to boot. |
| Leonardo | [While holding off three ninjas] Little help here? [All three turtles rush to him] |
| Raph, Mikey, and Don | We're on it! [The ninjas get out of the way] Look out! [All the turtles crash into each other] |
| Michelangelo | I sense a teamwork training session in our future. |
| Leonardo | Double time! They're getting away! |
| The ninjas all start to escape. The ninja with the glove goes back to the display case and grabs the sword, but is confronted by the turtles. | |
| Raphael | Just put the sword back, sparky, and we'll call it a draw. |
| Suddenly the sword emits a bright light and a shockwave blasts out and knocks the turtles back. The ninja then escapes with the help of another ninja. Distant police sirens are heard. | |
| Michelangelo | How about best two out of three? |
| Donatello | What was that sword? |
| Leonardo | Hold that thought. We gotta book it. [They all leave] |
| Back at the Lair, the turtles are showing Splinter the insignia that Mikey took from one of the ninjas. | |
| Leonardo | What does the symbol mean, Master Splinter? |
| Splinter | Trouble. |
| Raphael | You know something about these ninjas? Where do they come from? Who do they work for? |
| Michelangelo | And what do they want with a magic sword? |
| Donatello | Nope, not magic. Probably more like a self-perpetuating oscillation frequency generator. |
| Michelangelo | Uh...in English, Einstein? |
| Donatello | It packs a shockwave that'll knock you flat on your shell. |
| Raphael | We gotta go after these creeps! |
| Splinter | No. A wise ninja does not seek out an enemy he does not fully understand. |
| Leonardo | But Sensei, Bushido demands that we fight for honor and justice and- |
| Splinter | Bushido also demands that you honor your master's wishes! I will meditate upon this matter further. Goodnight [Goes into his room] |
| Michelangelo | Aw, undergrounded again. |
| Donatello | [Thinking] Hmmm. [Gets an idea] Hey! [Walks away] |
| Raphael | Where are you going, brainiac? |
| Don goes to the computer and his brothers join him. | |
| Donatello | There's more than one way to seek out your enemy. |
| Meanwhile, at Oroku Saki's Palace, Oroku Saki enters as four ninjas bow in front of him. He then removes the top of his robe. Suddenly one of the ninjas jumps up and attempts to attack him, but Saki kicks him away. Another ninja throws a kusarigama chain at him, but he flips out of the way. Another ninja appears behind him, and Saki frontflips and uses his leg to throw the ninja into another ninja. Hun suddenly appears, carrying something with a sheet over it. | |
| Oroku Saki | Ah. Hun. [Hun walks towards him but Saki holds his hand out to stop him] One moment. |
| The four ninjas charge at Saki. Saki kicks the first one, punches the second one, kicks the third one and grabs his sword, and finally uses the sword to block the fourth ninja's sword and kicks him away. After all four ninjas are downed, Saki puts his top back on and walks up to Hun. | |
| Oroku Saki | I trust you bring good news? [Hun kneels and presents the item, Saki removes the sheet to reveal the sword from the museum on a pillow, Saki becomes pleased] The Sword of Tengu. [Grabs the sword] Still just as potent, after all these years. [Holds the sword in front of a glass case with armor inside and the blade glows] And still able to locate other artifacts that share its unique origin. Yes, this sword will help me track those that I have been hunting for all these years. [Places the sword back on the pillow] Bring it to Tech Division. Tell them "Proceed with Phase Two." |
| Back at the Lair, Mikey is eating a bag of chips while reading comics. He looks back slightly at Splinter's room. | |
| Michelangelo | What's up with the big cheese? He's been zoning in there all day. |
| Leonardo | [While practicing his moves] It's that ninja symbol. It's got sensei all weirded out. |
| Raphael | [While hitting a practice dummy] Enough of this waiting around! I say we head top-side, kick ninja butt, take ninja names, and find out the whole ninja story for ourselves! [Spins around to behind the dummy and kicks its head off, landing it into Mikey's bag of chips] |
| Michelangelo | Whoa! Remind me never to get on your bad side, dude. |
| Raphael | [While walking away] Too late. |
| Leonardo | [Jumps in front of Raph] Hang on, Raph. No one's going anywhere. |
| Donatello | [While on the computer] Guys! Check this out! I hacked into the power company's computer system. Looks like there's another blackout down by the South Street Seaport. |
| Raphael | I smell a rat, and I don't mean Splinter. [Walks away] |
| Leonardo | Hang on, guys. Splinter told us- |
| Raphael | Not to go after the ninjas. He didn't say anything about not investigating power failures. [Keeps walking with Donnie and Mikey] |
| Donatello | Excellent. I have a few new surveillance toys I wanna test. |
| Leonardo | [Sighs and runs after them] Wait up! It's tough being the leader. |
| They all leave, not knowing that Splinter was watching them. Later atop a bridge at night, the turtles look and see a whole part of town is pitch black. | |
| Raphael | Total blackout. Just like last night. |
| Donatello | [Going through his bag] But this time, I came prepared. [Pulls out a special pair of goggles, Mikey grabs them and puts them on] |
| Michelangelo | Awesome! Total turtle vision! |
| Donatello | [Grabs the goggles and puts them on] Night vision, actually. |
| Leonardo | How do we survey such a large area? |
| Donatello | I came prepared for that too. [Pulls a switch to expel wings of a hang glider] I've been dying to try this puppy. |
| Leonardo | You mean you haven't tested it yet? |
| Michelangelo | Dude, how's he supposed to test a flying machine in the sewers? |
| Donatello | We'll stay in touch via shell cell. I've worked out all the theoretical aerodynamics. [Runs towards the edge of the bridge] It's practically fool-[Runs and dives off the edge and starts gliding]-PROOOF! WHOA-HAH-OH! |
| Raphael | But is it Don-proof? |
| Leonardo | [Over shell cell] Don? Don! |
| Donatello | I'm okay. No problem. [Heads straight for a support on the bridge] Uh oh. [Quickly turns] Whoa! Just forgot to compensate for the wind drag on my bo-staff. [Notices a strange beam emitting from a cannon hitting the water] Guys, I'm picking up something strange down on the river. |
| Leonardo | What is it? |
| Donatello | It looks like they're searching for something under the water. |
| Leonardo | Who's searching? |
| Donatello | [Notices two technicians] It's our ninja buddies again. [Sees the Sword of Tengu inside the cannon] They have that sword they stole rigged up to some kind of vibrational cannon. I'm over Pier 16. |
| Leonardo | [They start moving] We're there. |
| Donatello | [Flies towards the cannon's beam] I'm going in for a closer [Accidently gets caught in the beam] LOOOK! [Starts spinning out of control] |
| Leonardo | Don, what is it? |
| Donatello | WHOA! Mayday! Mayday! I'm going down! WHOA! [Lands in the water] |
| Leonardo | [They stop] Don! Can you here me? Say something, bud. |
| Donatello | [Comes out of the water near the now destroyed glider, over shell cell] Man! That water stinks! And this is from a turtle who lives in the sewers. |
| Raph, Mikey, and Leo | Yes! [They keep moving and see the cannon] |
| Leonardo | I have a visual on the cannon. I only see two guys. But that just means the others are hiding. [Several ninjas appear from a nearby boat and surround them] |
| Michelangelo | I hate it when he's right. |
| Raph, Leo, and Mikey | Let's turtleize them! |
| They fend off many ninjas on the boardwalk. Leo jumps onto the boat and fights more ninjas. Meanwhile, Donnie surfaces on another boardwalk. He is ambushed by ninjas from another nearby boat. He jumps onto the boat and fights them. Meanwhile Raph climbs up a cargo net attached to a pole on the boat. A ninja uses a kama to cut the net. As Raph falls, he uses his sai to stop himself near the bottom of the pole. | |
| Raphael | [Two ninjas appear around him] Why you...! |
| Meanwhile the technicians use the cannon to raise a part of the land under the water. One of them contacts someone. | |
| Technician A | We found what we're looking for. Bring in aerial support. |
| Michelangelo | [Backing up on the boat while spinning his nunchucks at ninjas] Avast, ye scurvy seadogs! Argh, shiver me timbers! Blow me down! [Laughs until he backs into a wall] Okay, about that blow me down part... [They charge at him but a sail falls on top of them thanks to Leo] Thanks, bro. |
| Meanwhile, a helicopter flies in and grabs a corpse out of the water. Back on the trio boat, Raph faces two ninjas. One of them throws a kusarigama chain at him but Raph blocks it with his sai. | |
| Raphael | Nice try, dipstick. [The other ninja wraps a chain around his legs and he trips over a railing and hangs upside down, the first ninja jumps down below him] |
| Leonardo | Who says they never cut you a break? [Swings by and cuts Raph's chain, causing him to fall and land on the ninja] |
| Raphael | Not pretty, but I'll take it. |
| Meanwhile, Donnie faces two ninjas. He throws them both into a nearby lifeboat and lowers it into the water. He's then joined by the other three. | |
| Leonardo | I think this teamwork effort gets a most improved. |
| Donatello | [Looks at the cannon] Schools not out yet. [Points at the helicopter] That's one cool shell chopper. |
| Michelangelo | [Seeing the corpse being pulled out of the water] What's up with Barnacle Bill? |
| Raphael | Whatever it is, it can't be good. [Helicopter flies away] |
| The four turtles head to the cannon. The techs deactivate it. As they're getting ready to leave, Leo appears on the edge of the scaffolding they're on. | |
| Leonardo | Now, boys, there's a small matter of some stolen property we need to discuss. |
| They try to run, but Donnie appears on another edge. | |
| Donatello | Dudes, you really shouldn't be playing with such dangerous toys. [Raph appears on the edge next to him] |
| They run in a different direction, but Mikey appears on another edge and makes an angry face. One tech tries shooting a laser at Mikey, but he ducks it. Leo kicks the tech down and his laser hits the console on the cannon, causing it to malfunction. | |
| Technician B | It's overloading! I can't control it! |
| Technician A | Who cares? We're leaving! [The helicopter comes back and they both jump on] |
| Raphael | They're getting away! [The helicopter leaves] |
| The cannon starts up again and turns to face the shore. | |
| Donatello | I think we've got bigger problems. |
| The cannon blasts the shore, causing it to crumble. | |
| Michelangelo | Talk about bad vibes. |
| Raphael | Not funny, Mike. |
| Leonardo | Don, can you shut it down? |
| Donatello | [Jumps atop the cannon] Well, I might be able to disconnect the sword from the accelerator, [Using his staff to open the back of the cannon] but crossing the power terminator could result in a feedback bloom that might- |
| Leonardo | Donnie, whatever! [To Mikey and Raph] Meantime, let's point this thing away from civilization! |
| They try moving the cannon, but a police helicopter approaches. | |
| Helicopter | This is the police! You on the pier! Stop where you are! |
| Raphael | Hurry up, Don, before we end up on "America's Most Wanted Reptiles!" |
| Donatello | Almost there. [Pulls a plug that causes the cannon to start spinning, knocking him off it] |
| Leonardo | We gotta steady this thing! [Uses a crowbar to hold it in place, Donnie tries grabbing the sword, but is shocked, Leo grabs the glove and tosses it to him] Here, try this! |
| Puts on the glove and grabs the sword. They then take off. | |
| Donatello | Let's get outta here! |
| The scaffolding and the cannon fall into the water. The cannon makes a blue explosion underwater. | |
| Michelangelo | Whoa. Awesome light show. [They see the police helicopter] |
| Leonardo | And speaking of light shows... |
| The turtles take off as the police approach. Later at the lair, they're showing Splinter the sword of tengu. He's now wearing the glove. | |
| Splinter | The design is unmistakably eleventh century Japanese, but the metal is unlike any I have ever seen. Clearly there is more to this sword than meets the eye. [Places the sword on a stand] Best that it remain out of the wrong hands. |
| Meanwhile, at the palace, Oroku Saki is speaking with the two technicians. | |
| Oroku Saki | For a long time, longer than you can possibly imagine, my enemies have managed to elude me. [Stands up, about the corpse, which is now in a glass case] Here at last is proof of their presence in this city, [Angrily] and all it cost me was the Sword of Tengu! [Knocks over an empty glass case next to him] |
| Technician | Master. There were...extenuating circumstances. These four strange creatures. They came from nowhere. |
| Oroku Saki | [Shows them a thermal image of the turtles] Were these the creatures you saw? |
| Technicians | [Both] Oh yes. |
| Oroku Saki | [Looks at the image] That will be all. |
| The techs bow and turn to leave. When they get to the door, however, it opens and reveals Hun, who grabs them and closes the door. | |
| Oroku Saki | These freakish thorns in my side must be removed. [Places the image on the table and grabs a claw blade near it] Permanently. [Stabs the image] |
| Fade to credits. |