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Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids. |
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Peter Venkman "Okay, boys, we got a floater in the pool." Peter "Let him have it!" SHRZAAAAK ZARCH Chi-You "This light... It burns!" Chi-You "Thralls! What sorcery is this? Tell me!" Human (Chi-You) "Ghostbusters." Human (Chi-You) "Ghostbusters." Human (Chi-You) "Ghostbusters." Chi-You "They could capture me? No!" Chi-You "No!" Chi-You "Retreat, my minions..." |
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Chi-You "Retreat!" PAFF Peter "He's rabbiting!" Winston Zeddemore "So's the crowd... And I've never seen an old lady move like that before." Egon Spengler "They're clearly possessed. This is bigger than I thought." Raphael "Casey, wait! Don't go with them!" Egon "Strange that the manifestation left these anthropomorphic turtle constructs behind." Winston "Oh yeah? As strange as the fact that they're all wearing masks?" Egon "Well not quite as strange as that, no." |
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Michelangelo "Question: Why are a bunch of old guys shooting lasers at us?" Donatello "I don't know, but I'd love to get a closer look at that equipment." Raph "Look on your own time! We gotta get Casey back!" Leonardo "Raph's right!" Ray Stantz "Is it me or do these guys seem a little heavy to be constructs?" Peter "Yeah, I heard the thump when Mr. Swords hit the ground. He's two bills, easy." Peter "Whaddayasay, Egon? Demons maybe?" Egon "If they were demons, they'd be far more aggressive... And PKE levels are declining, so my guess is our initial assumptions were in error." Egon "They're something else." Winston "Well, whatever they are, I'm pretty sure I just heard 'em speak English—maybe we can sort this all out." Winston "Attention, uh, turtle people!" Winston "We're ceasing fire now!" |
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Raph "Oh, so now they're stoppin'?" April O'Neil "You!" April "What!" April "Were you!" April "Thinking?!" April "Do you guys make a habit of shooting highly dangerous energy pulses in the direction of innocent people? Who do you think you are?" Peter "Seriously, lady?" April "Dead serious!" April "You're responsible for that Chi-You thing getting away with Casey!" Peter "Why is it always the redheads you yell?" Ray "Wait, did you say Chi-You? That name sounds familiar." |
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Ray "He was a war god, right? Lead the Nine Li tribe and fought the Battle of Zhuolu against the Emperor Huangdi?" Ray "Wonder what brought him to New York?" Egon "Whatever it was, these... People are somehow connected to it." Egon "All of them, even the woman, are emitting a low-level phase variance at the cellular level—" Egon "—They're out of sync with this dimension, which matches in part the readings I took from the entity." Egon "Which would track with the dimensional breach Ms. Griffin contacted us about." Donnie "You guys have equipment that can detect spatial anomalies at a cellular level?" Donnie "Oh, man, can I see?" Raph "Stop droolin'. These guys were shootin' lasers at us like three seconds ago!" April "Yeah. They were. And you guys seem pretty calm about meeting four giant talking turtles. Where are we?" Peter "New York." April "Touché." Raph "Great, fine. Whatever. Can we get out of here already?" Raph "Casey could be anywhere by now!" |
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Donnie "And then what, Raph? How would we fix Casey and get home? I think maybe these gentlemen and their technology might be able to help." Peter "Sure, and we'll even give you a talking animal discount." Ray "Peter." Ray "We'd be happy to assist. Even better, this is a real learning opportunity." Ray "How did you get here? Are there more like you in your dimension? Are you from Earth, or are you aliens?" Donnie "What? No. We're mutants." Donnie "We were in the middle of testing an inter-spatial teleportation unit, when there was a gli—an unknown variable." Ray "Ah! So you landed in presumably the right spot—just a fraction of a decimal point away from the proper dimensional wavelength?" Donnie "Yes! Exactly! I'm so glad someone else gets it!" Peter "So you have one like that, too, huh?" Raph "At least it's just one." Peter "You got me there." |
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Donnie "Here's what we were working with." Ray "This is genius!" Leo "Yes. Donnie's very proud of it. And we appreciate any help you can give." Mikey "Totally, um..." Mikey "...Hey, am I the only one who's weirded out that we haven't introduced ourselves yet?" April "God point. I'm April O'Neil. My friends are..." April "Leonardo," April "Michelangelo," April "Donatello," April "And Raphael." Peter "Color coded, huh? Handy. We're the Ghostbusters." Peter "That's Botticelli, Signorelli, and Titian. And I'm El Greco." Mikey "Dude, really?" Raph "He's messin' with us, dummy." Peter "Sorry, used to date a gal who restored art. Couldn't resist. I'm Dr. Venkman, but you can call me Peter." Peter "Behind me is Dr. Ray Stantz, Winston Zeddemore, and, y'know, Egon." Egon "Dr. Spengler." |
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Egon "We have equipment back at our lab that can track both Chi-You and, quite probably, your missing friend. I suggest we reconvene there, and—" Peter "Hang on, Egon..." Peter "...We're not all gonna fit in the car." Mikey "This is your car? Leo, can we get one? Pleeeeeeease?" Leo "No. And it's fine, Dr. Venkman. If this New York is anything like ours, we can find our way. We'll just need an address." Peter "We're on North Moore. That's—" Raph "Within spittin' distance, yeah. We know Tribeca. C'mon, guys." Peter "We can give April a lift, at least—" April "It's barely two miles. We'll be fine." Peter "Suit yourself. Just look for the Firehouse with the tasteful sign. You can't miss it." Winston "So. Four talking turtles. With masks. And ninja weapons." Ray "Yeah. Aren't you glad that's not the weirdest thing we've seen this week?" |
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[Meanwhile, a short distance away...] Chi-You "Since I cannot sense my family... Or any like them..." Chi-You "...Our pact to influence the world indirectly is null and void. I am free to directly impose order here. To make this world what it should be." Chi-You "And when that is done, Casey Jones..." Chi-You "Your mutant companions will rebuild the machine that freed me so that I may find other worlds to conquer." Chi-You "I will rule all. But first..." Chi-You "...While these peasants were a serviceable test for my new abilities..." Chi-You "...They are hardly the markings of a worthy army." Young Woman "What—" Old Woman "Where am I?" Old Man "Don't you remember? There was a ghost, and—" |
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Old Woman "He's here! Run!" Young Woman "Roof access is over here! Quick!" Chi-You "Look at them, Casey Jones. Do you see? Cowards. Unworthy." Chi-You "I desire warriors to gift with my power." Casey Jones "Nghh—" Chi-You "You dare fight my control? Your will is that strong?" Casey "Nnnnnot gonna let you..." Chi-You "You have no choice!" THWACK Chi-You "I require more warriors, more like you. You will direct me to them, and then—" |
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"—I will annihilate any and all who would oppose me." Donnie "This. Is. Awesome!" Donnie "Look at all this tech! What's this one do?" Egon "It's... Technical." Egon "Hmm, interesting brain functions." Mikey "Yeah, this stuff rules! Is this, like, a lava lamp?" Ray "Be careful—" NYAARRRRR Mikey "Yikes!" SPLORCH Ray "It's okay, he can't get out. But somehow that little ghost still tends to unnerve folks." Mikey "I'll be fine, dude." Mikey "Does he have kidneys? I think I saw his kidneys." |
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Donnie "I know you call yourselves the Ghostbusters, but that's just marketing, right? I've seen a lot of stuff, but autonomous spirits stretches the limits of my acceptance... What are they, really?" Raph "Oh, great, I thought we were done with this." Egon "They're exactly what they appear to be. Denying something in the face of quantifiable proof would make no sense." Ray "Exactly." Donnie "But couldn't they be, I don't know, something else?" Peter "Your friend sounds like he's struggling with some things." Raph "He ain't my friend, he's my brother." Peter "You better tell him to watch his step. He goes down this rabbit hole with Egon, he might wind up getting talked into trephination." Raph "Trephi-huh? What the heck's that?" Peter "A little boring, actually." |
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Ray "Let's take another tack. What's your explanation for the entity you saw tonight? What do you think you saw?" Donnie "At first glance? It was clearly a parasitic creature of some sort. Maybe even extraterrestrial." Egon "Aliens don't exist." Donnie "I've met some!" Egon "And we've seen ghosts." Winston "Uh-oh. He's getting Egon's dander up." Leo "Yeah, I noticed. I'll call Donnie off." Winston "Nah, let 'im go, it's gotta be good for Egon to get disagreed with by someone who understands what he's talking about." Leo "You know... You're a lot... Calmer than the others. Are you in charge?" Winston "Me? Naw. I'm a marine. I just go in first. 'Sides, trying to get these guys on the same page would be like herding cats." Leo "Heh. I know what that's like." Winston "I bet." |
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Janine Melnitz "Here, April... Have a coffee, sweetie. Trust me, you're gonna need the caffeine." Peter "Hey! You never bring me coffee!" Janine "I like her more than you, Peter!" April "Thanks, Janine." Janine "You okay?" April "I'm... I don't know. This is all too weird. This whole business about a different New York... And that thing attacking Casey, and... It's all kind of hitting me now. I'm just trying to process it." Janine "Of course. The good news is—and I know from experience—is that there's nothing so weird that it can't be overcome." Kylie Griffin "Clear the door!" Kylie "Watch out!" April "What the—let me help you..." Kylie "Thanks. I pulled everything I could think of that might be helpful." April "Why don't you have all this online? Or on a memory stick or something? Wouldn't that be a lot easier?" Kylie "It really isn't." |
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Kylie "Some of this information doesn't like to be digitized. On paper it's kind of bound in place..." Kylie "...But add a little electricity to the mix and you can attract the wrong sorts of attention." Ray "Kylie's right. Demonic entities are curious and vain. You give too many people the chance to look them up and read about them all at once, bam! Good recipe for a conjuring. And that's not the only thing you've got to worry about with some of these books." Slimer "Nyarrrghhh! Nyarrrrghhh!!" Ray "See how this one reacts? Like a horse to a wolf." Donnie "Are you serious?" Ray "On my mother's side. But don't worry, I've got something better for you, Don. You're gonna love it." Ray "And don't let Egon faze you. I get a little skepticism. We had the same problem with Venkman at first!" Ray "But think of it like this—you're a mutant who built a dimensional portal and wound up on another world. Is that somehow less fantastic an event?" Ray "Our core, who we are, that's a kind of energy. The afterlife is just a matter of determining where the energy goes and how it reacts when it gets there." Ray "That's pure science." Ray "But that's not the kind of science I want to talk about right now." |
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[Meanwhile, over in Midtown...] EASTERN CONFERENCE QUARTERFINALS NEW YORK VS. MONTREAL GAME 1 [...]RLDS MOST FAMOUS ARENA MCB City Bank Everybody has three mortgages nowadays Proud Partner MADISON SQUARE GARDEN FROM BEYOND BIJOU THEATRE >—And the gloves are off! It's the first fight of the night in the playoff match between New York's own Warriors and their challengers from the Great White North!< Player A "C'mon! Bring it!" Player B "Gonna break your face!" Player A "Wait, what the? You hit me so hard I'm hallucinatin'?" Player B "I'm seein' it, too. And you hit like a day-old kitten." Player A "You sonnuva—" NINJA DRY CLEANER 緑 MELON SPIRITS Enjoy Blody Caste NINJA PIZZERIA Home of the nice SLICE MOLTA "Whoaaa!" |
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>911 Emergency.< Man "I need help! There's some kind of bull-headed ghost-thing attacking the playoffs at the Gar—" KBOOM Chi-You "No. There is no help for you." Chi-You "You are here to witness the beginnings..." Chi-You "...Of an army." Player C "Nyeargh!" |
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Chi-You "Remaking his image... Took more out of me than I expected. But now, he is a proper warrior." Chi-You "I feel a question forming in your mind, boy. Speak." Casey "W-Why... Didn't you... Do that to me?" Chi-You "You are an incentive. I want your mutant friends to share with me the secret of travelling to other worlds." Chi-You "Why should I have to link my mind with a lower life form when I can just as easily force their allegiance by threatening your life?" |
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Donnie "Wow! What is that?" Ray "The Ecto-Containment Unit. It's where we store uncooperative batches of psychokinetic energy." Donnie "You mean, you put your "ghosts" in it." Ray "Bingo!" Donnie "Well, whatever it is, it's an impressive piece of engineering." Ray "And it has an equally impressive, self-contained power source, which is what I wanted you to take a look at." Ray "Based on those transporter schematics, I'm pretty sure we have the spare parts to help you jury rig a replacement. But it's going to need plenty of juice if we're going to get you home." Ray "You think this'll do the trick?" Donnie "Oh, man, yes. I think this will work." Ray "Good, because we—" KLANGKLANGKLANGKLANGKLANG |
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Winston "What is it, Janine?" Janine "911 just punted one our way. Says someone called about a ghost with a bull's head attacking the hockey playoffs in Midtown before the call was cut." Mikey "Hey, wasn't Chi-You supposed to have a bull's head?" Peter "And you guys doubted our books." Raph "Hockey playoffs? That's gotta be Casey, bro." Leo "If there's a chance this is Chi-You, we're coming along." Egon "That would be a bad idea. You'd be better served staying behind to begin work on a replacement transporter." Leo "We're not all mechanically inclined, Dr. Spengler..." Leo "...But we are going to help our friend." |
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Egon "You misunderstand. I watched the energy readings I took from you all earlier at the church against data collected from Donatello with more sensitive equipment here." Egon "The data is degrading." Egon "I believe that energy signature is the key to returning you to your proper dimension. If it degrades too far, you'll risk being lost. Forever." Raph "How much time you figure we got?" Egon "I estimate 72 hours. Possibly less." Raph "So three days. We can do that. We ain't leavin' Casey to you guys." Raph "No offense." Ray "How long did it take you to build the transporter the first time?" Donnie "It took weeks. And I had lots of help." Ray "Oh. Wow." Ray "Maybe Egon is right." |
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Donnie "Maybe. But we're going." Donnie "We can't just sit around here when we know there's something we could be doing." E. SPENGLER P. VENKMAN Another Mass Sponge Migration Ray "Well, in that case..." Peter "Ray, what are you doing? We gotta go, man!" Ray "Getting my spare." Ray "If Donnie here wants to help, we'll let him help. And I've got just the thing." Mikey "Dude! Can I—" Leo "Absolutely not." Donnie "Wow. I just have one question..." Donnie "How does this thing work?" |